My Ayurvedic Trip to Nirvana (Inside Story)
Normandie Keith ditched her mobile phone and Pepsi Max to embark on a detox programme that transformed more than just her body.
Having just turned 29, I’ve been looking back and realised I’ve spent a lot of time taking care of my outside and not much looking after my insides. So, as a birthday treat, I decided to purify my body and explore a new way of life. Ayurveda – which literally means the science of life – is a form of holistic health and beauty care that originated in India 5,000 years ago. My favourite things – increased energy, reduced stress, proper digestion, weight loss, improved skin and better sleep – are just some of the benefits. Need I say more?
I signed up for the detoxification programme called panchakarma.
DAY ONE Woke up at 7am to take 15ml of warm ghee. The reason I am awake at this ungodly hour is so that the ghee is passed through my system, collecting toxins from fat cells on its way and centralising them in the gut. If taken after 8 am the ghee itself is digested, and uses up the digestive energy that I am trying to conserve. By limiting my number of calories and having no fats, dairy products, sugar, alcohol, coffee, tea, tinned or micro-waved food (my staple diet!) I will supposedly give my system a break.
By midday I have a hideous headache and have had to remove my belly chain for fear of breakage – it’s amazing how fast those toxins rush down to the tummy. My diet today consists of plain pasta, dried fruits and cooked vegetables. I have traded in my beloved Pepsi Max for herbal tea and taken two naps, during which I dreamed of McDonald’s, french fries and swimming in a pool of chocolate pudding.
DAY TWO Another 7am start and 25ml of ghee butter. This isn’t good – my tummy has swollen so that I look like a pregnant Teletubby and there are still jackhammers going off in my head. But I am staying positive and out of sight, reading and meditating – my stomach has now begun to chant with me and twice sent Suge, my chihuahua, scurrying out of the room in fear. He’s seen the movie Alien.
DAY THREE Today was a shock. Having never taken castor oil before, I didn’t know what to expect. Now that I do, all I can say is, how can this stuff be legal? Three hours after my prescribed dose of 30 mls found myself promise to give up any beauty/gossip column secrets in exchange for the ordeal to end. Looking like a power walker, I charged between bed and loo all day. After which I had a startling realisation – this was only the pre-treatment.
DAY FOUR Bucking up my courage, I set off for the Peak District with Suge. On the drive up it seemed everywhere I looked sweets and fizzy drinks were calling out: ‘This is your last chance, stop the car, no one will know.’ But with every last ounce of willpower, I forged on. It was foggy when we got up to Ashbourne, a little bit Blair Witch Project, so I turned on my mobile for some urban security. What, no signal? No food, no Pepsi Max and now no signal; I’m going to die up here. I grabbed hold of my unravelling nerve long enough to turn into the drive to Rose Cottage, my residence for the next five days.
Upon arrival my anxiety dissipated as my three lovely Ayurvedic technicians, Carol, Danny and Mary, greeted me warmly at the door. They were also pleased to see Suge. I was starving after the sensory overload of passing so many LittIe Chefs, so I sat down to a lunch of rice, dhal, asparagus and mixed vegetables; apple slices in apricot sauce for desert and a delicious fennel tea. Surprisingly, I loved it all and felt very satisfied afterwards. Danny explained that each meal should contain six tastes: sweet, sour, salty, bitter, pungent and astringent. This satisfies the palate and leaves the body feeling balanced. Let the treatments begin.
My first, Abhyanga, was sheer ecstasy. Carol and Mary massaged me in tandem. Four hands, synchronised to perfection, kneaded my skin with specially blended oils for my body type (vata/pitta). I have never had such a complete relaxation experience. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, I was given Shirodhara, which, trust me, will get you as near to nirvana as you will ever manage while still breathing.
Warm aromatic oil flowed rhythmically back and forth across my forehead, calming and soothing me. When I drifted back to my room, I slipped under the sheets to find a toasty hot-water bottle waiting for me. Aah! The simplest of pleasures after the greatest indulgence.
DAY FIVE Began at 9 am with red grape and ginger juice, then it was off to the bathroom to clean my teeth and scrape my tongue (my favourite new beauty tip). Ama, or toxins, can be seen on the tongue in the morning. If you have eaten late at night or your digestion is generally poor – it that four-ply cashmere feeling your tongue sometimes gets. So you literally slosh off the gunge with a stainless steel scraper, revealing a fresh pink tongue and fresh breath.
I then went downstairs and did an hour of yoga and an hour of meditation with Danny. My body felt very free and was itching to stretch like a cat – I actually felt like purring! – as each yoga pose hit the spot. The meditation was deep and I kept nodding off, which Danny said was normal, since meditation gives the body what it needs. So in my case? Rest
After the meditation, my Ayurveda lessons began. Danny explained that body types fit into three categories; vata, pitta and kapha. Vatas tend to be vibrant, emotional, adaptable and enthusiastic; pittas are perfectionists, impatient, strong-minded and courageous; kaphas are calm, deep sleepers, complacent, compassionate. Most of us are a mix of two types, but Ayurvedics believe that knowing our body types means we can live harmoniously with the cycles of day and nature, as the days and the seasons are also linked to these categories. It is important to follow a diet that is tailored to your type. I am a vata/pitta type so need food that is warming, such as stew and hot drinks, not dry things, as my skin, nails and hair are quite dry.
That afternoon I had Netra Tarpana – my eyes were bathed in ghee. This is done in order to improve any eye disorders (you look as though you have trendy yellow-tinted glasses on, except they are wet). Then it was time for another glorious Abhyanga massage, followed by Swedana for which my body was enclosed in a cedar cabinet filled with herbalised steam. My head was the only thing exposed and Mary kept it cooled with compresses. The vapours softened and dilated the channels of my body, allowing the impurities to be moved out.
I wrapped up warm in my fluffy robe and cushy slippers and moseyed back to my room, where I was given a Matra Basti, which is warm sesame oil inserted enema-style, to nourish the system and gather toxins for further elimination the next day.
DAY SIXThe big one. Toxins and impurities were supposed to race out of my body, Carl Lewis style, and I would be pure (hallelujah). To start the day I had Pizzichilli, where gallons of warm oil flowed from hoses that were guided along my body as I was simultaneously massaged. The heat of the oil was gradually increased and the toxins flowed freely from my pores. After this treatment I was given a Shodhana Basti enema to complete the cleansing process. Today’s diet was light, only peya – a soup of white basmati rice and mung beans. But by the day’s end I felt brighter, lighter, flatter (belly chain on and dangling!) and had a profound sense of happiness and wellbeing.
DAY SEVEN Each treatment began with a delicious foot-bath, and face and head massage, which proved to be a fantastic treatment for the hair. Coconut oil was used and my head wrapped in a chic turban towel (which is easy to do at home). I wanted to whack on some false eyelashes and swan around like Joan Crawford, but this was not the place. Instead we started the day off with Marma. This gentle massage balances the body’s subtle energy points and left me in a Zen-like state. My afternoon delight was Garshan, which saw me massaged with raw silk gloves for a brisk exfoliation, refreshing the skin and reducing cellulite (there is a God!).
DAY EIGHTOne final exquisite massage and then back to the real world. I couldn’t believe how great I felt. Being without TV, my phone, even a newspaper left me with my own thoughts, and the vast space and new education of Ayurveda deeply affected me. I loved the quiet, peace and steadiness I felt – that is, until I went to gather up Suge for our journey home and couldn’t find him anywhere. I located him with Carol, who was lovingly massaging him with lavender oil to settle him. The total goodness of my new friends reminded me how generous people can be. So what I would say to you all is this: if there is ever a time when you can get away, go. Educate your mind, revive your body and renew your spirit. Ayurveda UK isn’t a fancy, plush spa – it’s the real deal, a life-changing experience. And I didn’t even stop at McDonald’s on the way home.
